


Shampoo & Conditioner

by StarLove18



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Crack, Don't copy to another site, Don't repost, Drabble Sequence, Heartbreak, Inspired By Tumblr, Light Angst, M/M, OT5, Pineapples, Post-War, Short Chapters, Silly, and Discord
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarLove18/pseuds/StarLove18
Summary: All Hail the Pineapple Express! A blessing and a curse...





	1. Chapter 1

Quatre stumbled into the safehouse with a stack of groceries. Heero followed suit with more.

A pineapple scent wafted past Heero’s nostrils. Before Quatre could say anything, the bags Heero had held dropped unceremoniously to the floor. The sounds that followed were the click of a gun, stormy stalks in his steps, and a heavy groan.

Heero saw red.

“Are you okay? There’s no intruders in here.”

Heero’s wild eyes shot a glance in Quatre’s direction. His stance remained rigid.

“Who brought pineapples in here?” he asked with a laboured tone.

Quatre raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you’re referencing. Besides, I don’t see nor smell them.” His eyes closed as he reached for the fallen groceries. “Calm down, Heero.”

“The pineapple… Who brought the pineapple?”

Quatre shook his head. “Must’ve been Duo and Wufei fighting over the shampoo and conditioner again. They both had a-”

“Mission accepted. I shall kill them both.”

Quatre’s eyes widened. There’s no way he could. “HEERO! SNAP OUT OF IT! THERE’S NO REAL PINEAPPLES HERE!”

Unfortunately for the blonde, Heero fell into a mantra. “Must. Kill. Pineapple. Must kill pineapple. Must kill the pineapple Express… must-”

_**THWACK!** _

“TROWA! WHY?” Quatre was on the edge of tears.

An unconscious Heero laid cold as Trowa crouched next to him.

“He almost ruined the experiment. I made the shampoo pineapple scented so that way, Duo and Wufei wouldn’t fight anymore. If Heero destroyed what I’ve started, Wufei would’ve slashed Duo in pieces, and Duo would’ve snuffed Wufei in his sleep.”

Quatre shook his head. “I don’t wanna hear it! You’re all acting weird over a tropical fruit, it makes no sense!”

Before Trowa could interject, Quatre stormed out of the kitchen.

Followed by the sound of a door slam.


	2. Chapter 2

So, how did Trowa solve this problem?

“Come on out guys! Heero’s out of commission.”

Duo rushed out of his bedroom, his braid halfway done while Wufei followed with a dark shadow over his face. It made no difference that the afternoon sun shone brightly through the kitchen. Even with his hair pulled back in its tight ponytail, his eyes remained hidden; his posture rigid.

Duo shoved Trowa aside, not caring about the groceries the taller pilot landed on.

“Heero, wake up!” Duo cries. “Please say something. Anything!”

Wufei’s shadowed eyes shifted over to Trowa. “What did you just do?”

Trowa rose to his feet. “I’ve stopped him from going crazy. What do you think?”

Wufei snorted. “There was no need. He’s not a science experiment.”

Trowa cocked an eyebrow. “First of all, yes he was. I’m sick and tired of you guys bickering over the shampoo and conditioner in the house. I also wanted you to smell good.”

Wufei’s tone darkened. “What’s that supposed to mean? What does that imply?”

Trowa smirked. “Looks like you need some help with that experiment, too.”

Duo’s head snapped around as he looked back at Trowa. Finding Heero unconscious was one issue, but Trowa’s refusal to exercise accountability flared up his anger.

“What the heck, Trowa! This is uncalled for! I don’t see what’s so funny! Perhaps you should catch a break! Better yet, do that experiment on yourself!” The braided pilot transferred his full attention to Wufei, whose darkened expression disappeared. “Care to lend a hand?” He asked as he gestured Heero with his head.

The warrior nodded and approached the pair. They’ve helped him up and carried him to Duo’s room. Duo opened his windows for more fresh air while Wufei retrieved a glass of water. Upon his return, Duo sat closest to Heero’s face. He looked peaceful.

The American’s eyes watered.

“At least he’s breathing on his own, but we need to call Sally.”

Duo sniffled and wiped his face. Pondering on what could’ve prevented this mess brought on sobs. “I hate this scenario so much. Heero’s birthday is coming up, and I got him something that will blow his mind…”

His sobs got the best of him. Wufei sat down on the opposite side and tugged Duo’s hair lightly, intent on completing his braid.

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Wufei said. “The least we can do right now is look out for Heero. You give Sally a quick call. I’ll go check on the others.”

As he tied the end of Duo’s braid, he pulled the other pilot in and kissed his tear-stained cheeks. “I’ll be back.”

*-*

Wufei knocked on Quatre’s door. A groan rumbled through the doorway. Turns out the blonde’s foul mood hasn’t left the house, since what followed next felt like a direct hit on a Gundam.

“Leave me alone! All of you! Just leave me be!”

Quatre? Left alone? Normally, he’s the glue that kept the group together. Not that anyone didn’t have personal time for themselves, but this form of outright rejection didn’t suit the young man at all.

“It’s only me,” Wufei replied.

“Go away,” Quatre demanded with finality.

With a heavy sigh, Wufei marched into the kitchen where Trowa ate pineapple chunks.

“Please leave,” said Wufei.

“HM?” Trowa swallowed his bite before asking again, “Why?”

“You’ve hurt Heero, and it’s hard on the rest of us. So leave.”

Trowa cocked his head to the side. “If you want him to wake up, give him these, then I’ll go.”

Reluctant, Wufei took the cup of pineapples and sped walked back to Duo’s room. Trowa shook his head and rinsed his hands.

“A simple thank-you would suffice,” he muttered as he placed three more glasses of pineapple chunks on the countertop. The tap ran over his fingers before he turned it off and reached for his jacket in the closet.

“Where are you going?”

Trowa spun and noticed Quatre on the other side.

“For a walk. Just a quickie.”

He pulled on his jacket before unlocking the door. Quatre dashed towards Trowa but the other man stretched his arm out, keeping them both at a distance.

“I’ll be back.”

“But Trowa, I-”

The door slammed shut.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where is Trowa headed? Will the pineapples revive Heero? Can the others forgive Trowa? You’ll have to wait.


End file.
